Irlam’s Finest Tattoo Studio: The Viper Pit Update

Alright, you absolute legends — time for your quarterly dose of nonsense from the inky bowels of Irlam’s finest (and only) tattoo studio: The Viper Pit.

We’re Absolutely Blown Out

It’s been mad. We are fully booked. Walk-ins are flying in. More tattoos are going out than sense. If you want in this side of summer, you better move faster than a Salford lad hearing “free pint.” Chris hasn’t sat down in weeks. Rachel’s eye is twitching. Chelsea’s started threatening the furniture. Business is booming, and we’re loving every minute of it.

New T-Shirts Landing Soon – Proper I’rlam Fashion

Our brand-new Viper Pit T-shirts are nearly here. They feature a skull, a snake, and the exact energy you need when you’re in the Tesco queue and someone gives you a dirty look. They’re dead comfy, dead hard, and dead sexy. Wear it with pride round Irlam. People will know you’ve either had a tattoo here… or a full mental breakdown.

Nice to Meet You, New Team Member!

We are excited to announce that a new face is joining us very soon. They're mega talented, nice as owt, and completely unprepared for this circus. We’ll introduce them properly after they survive their first shift and don’t cry in the toilet. That’s the benchmark we’ve set.

Behind-the-Scenes Videos Coming In Hot

You wanted more content, so we’re giving it to you — actual behind-the-scenes madness:

• Chris arguing with a box of gloves

• Rachel threatening to burn the printer (again)

• Chelsea explaining to Chris for the 9th time how to screenshot

  
  

It’s raw, real, and most of it’s probably HR-violating. Can’t wait to share these moments with you all!

We’re Posting More Fun Stuff – For the Vibes

We’ve been trying to share more of us lately. We’re not just about tattoos, but also about daft studio moments, chaotic videos, and all the weird crap that happens in between. Not because we’re influencers, but because we like you lot. We want you to feel part of the Viper Pit gobshite family. Even if you’ve never had owt done – you’re still welcome to laugh at our expense.

Chris Update – Absolute Menace

As for Chris, he’s tattooing like he’s trying to escape a curse. He’s sweaty, he’s confused, and he thinks “admin” is just a type of sandwich. Last week, he sent a quote with no name, no design, and the words “yeah sound just bring cash xx.” He doesn’t vape; he just runs on caffeine, crisps, and barely-contained fury.

Rachael & Chelsea – Keeping the Chaos in Check

Rachael and Chelsea are not running the show (we wouldn’t do that to them), but they are helping out. They’re keeping things ticking, replying to messages, and generally making sure nobody accidentally books their mam in for a face tattoo. If you’ve had a reply that actually made sense — it was probably one of them.

Community and Connection

Thank you for being part of our journey. We truly appreciate your support as we continue to grow. We’re busier than ever, funnier than we should be, and proudly flying the flag for Irlam weirdos everywhere.

We're looking forward to bringing you new merch, new videos, and a new face joining the team. Same unhinged energy, and we cannot wait to share it all with you.

Thanks for sticking with us, sharing our stuff, and letting us ruin your skin in the nicest possible way.

🖤 The Viper Pit Team

(Chris, Rachel, Chelsea, and the next poor soul joining the circus)