So, you’ve got yourself a fresh hole. Nice one. But here’s the catch: it’s basically a controlled stab wound with jewellery shoved in it. Your job now is to stop it turning into a crusty science experiment. Lucky for you, I’ve got the ancient secret: chamomile tea.
Step 1: Don’t Be a Goblin
Stop pawing at it like it’s a scratch card. Your hands have touched doors, phones, Greggs bags and God knows what else. Keep your fingers out unless you want your new piercing to smell like a bus seat.
Step 2: Chamomile Tea = Magic Potion
Make a brew, let it cool down (we’re healing piercings, not cooking noodles), then press the bag on your piercing. It’ll calm swelling, chill redness, and trick your body into thinking it’s at a spa day. Plus, if anyone asks what you’re doing, you can say: “Having a brew with my ear.”
Step 3: Don’t Be a Bellend
Don’t swap the jewellery out early. It’s not a fashion show, it’s wound care. Don’t go swimming in questionable water. Your cartilage doesn’t need a lads’ holiday in Magaluf. Don’t sleep on it — unless you enjoy waking up feeling like your pillow glassed you.
Step 4: Healing Times = Slow Cooker Settings
Cartilage can take months, some piercings nearly a year. Chill. You wouldn’t take a Sunday roast out after ten minutes, so don’t rush the process unless you like half-cooked meat vibes.
Step 5: Listen to Me, Not TikTok Karen
If something looks off, come see me. Don’t follow advice from someone online who healed their belly button with toothpaste and Monster Energy.
Final Word from Chris
I stab you with style, you heal with sense. Chamomile tea isn’t just for bedtime grans — it’s for keeping your piercing looking fresh instead of feral. Do it right and you’ll be rocking your new bling long after your mate’s impulse snakebite has gone green.